August 12, 2020, 12:14:41 AM

Author Topic: My Interview with William Wallace  (Read 358 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Sam

  • Hero Warrior
  • *****
  • Posts: 8165
  • Police face and dog heart.
    • View Profile
My Interview with William Wallace
« on: March 10, 2020, 06:04:05 PM »
Wallace: Yea boy Sam, so happy to be part ah yuh interview, boy, ah wish you was in T&T, I fire Shaun for you boy, no joke hoss.

Sam: Yea man, glad to interview you boss, ah like some of de things yuh accomplishing since yuh take de wok from that devil DJW.

Wallace: Yea boy Sam, de man clean out de Hotel and de TTFA office before he leave, even de light bulbs and toilet paper he take. De man lower than de white line in de road.

Sam: Yuh f00ck up on de Selwyn Melville deal though, how de f00ck you could agree to that, he cannot prove he came up with de name soca warriors when Swallow sing that song and use that name in 1989. Yuh f00cking dottish or wha.

Wallace: I like how yuh straight forward but how yuh go call ah big man dottish, I making nuff change, look at some of de things I accomplish since ah put de pipe on DJW. He was here for 4 years and only studding hotel so he construction company could build it and de money stay in he pocket, look de players owed ova 100 thousand in salary. Look some ah de things I get done in 100 days.

1. Got a 25mill contract from Avec Sport.

2. Sign a four year sponsorship deal with Sports & Games even though local fans doh spend money, I figure we go make like 100 US in profit per year, everything counts, Sport and Games doh have a good business aspect for foreigners as far as shipping goes, so we will gain, just not as much, they support FC Santa Rosa a few years ago and they eh make nothing from sales, but we are hoping for a change, besides, it des look good in paper, yuh eh see how de Nike bluff make me win election, Look Loy work for Jack Warner, so he know de tricks to win.

3. Sign a 1.5mill contract with Caribbean Chemicals.

4. Hired some of the best coaches we have in T&T.

5. Got rid of Dennis Lawrence.

6. Settle de Soca Warriors trademark name, which I think he shouldn't f00ck Melville.

7. Upgrade de official TTFA website.

8. Very friendly and pleasant with the media and fans. Not like that huggish pig DJW.

9. Bring back women football.

10. Open up a network to bring in foreign players.

11. Found big flaws from de Home of Football hotel which might have to be sold to de government to put illegal immigrants in cause in every country you go, them have de most rights including schools and hospitals while tax payers get f00ck. De TTFA don't have de money to fix the problems, DJW even take de bulbs from de hotels when he lost election.

12. Willing to work with de leagues in T&T to improve it, but Julia Baptiste, Jamaal Shabazz, Brent Sancho and Renee John Williams not cooperating, they want to f000k meh.

13. Seems like Fenwick is attracting major sponsors cause people want to see change and seriousness and they know he will bring that.

Sam: Well that real good but who running de SSFL now?

Wallace: Tun-Tun from Tunapuna (laugh)..... that league dying, because to much fight dong in de league, nobody eh care about de children education, is all man for they self, look for example, Marcus Joseph could see he name on a blackboard and pass it straight, but if he was in de league going junio sec, St Anthony's College woulda take him. Run nigga, run, that is they mentality, now he have to go india and eat punkin and roti for de rest of he career, he prick go dead for sure.

Sam: What, yuh talk like a real man they, didn't think yuh had it in you, you is de only man who friendly to de fans and de media, yuh think you could connect with de fans on SWO and Tallman and Flex.

Wallace, Tallman already onboard and Flex, well ah go get to he soon, them fellas ital, ah like what they doing, de only thing is Tallman need to cut he hair if he want to make T&T team, ah like what Bertille St Clair did, no rastas on de team, yuh see wha happen to Sancho in de World Cup, axe Crouch.

Sam: So Terry Fenwick, welsome man, but yuh is T&T coach since January, but yuh scratching yuh Toe-tea since yuh come, because no team training.

Fenwick: Sam, you is a real comedian, I follow you on SWO and I know you on jokes, I was planning to call some locals for training, but de Futsal Coach end up calling them up before me, I eh get paid yet, but I also understand de situation Wallace inherited from de previous waste, so I doh mind waiting and getting paid 12 thousand US a month for doing interviews. Yuh know Stuart Charles and DJW go block they players from getting call up, so I looking foreign, de local players eh have belly, is only f00cking barra and stag they eating and drinking, Trini mentality f00cked up, but de women pussy sweet, I came here with de intention to go back in 2000 but boy, them puusy to sweet, ah in love, (Terry, smiling now).

Sam: How yuh smiling like when Indian win case so.

Terry: Lol, Sam you funny, hold on, ah getting ah call (((ring))), [hello] (hello, this is Controversial from SWO, ah need to make a request) [what is your request] (Ah want to see Keron Cummings on de team and Kerwin Jemmott as your assistant coach, if yuh make that happen coach ah go come sing my song at half time for de T&T vs Canada game for free) [I might call up Keron, but Jemmott already coaching] (serious, where) [In f00cking jail, he coaching ah blind team] (oh shit, tha is why he not answering he phone, ok coach, thanks, later).

Terry: Sam, I have to go, because meh wife cooking roti and egg and if ah miss supper cat go lick meh butter.

Sam: Ok Terry, enjoy yuh supper, Wallace, I gone, my interview woulda been much longer but ah like what yuh doing, so nothing much to talk about, by de way, hit La Fou­cade ah f00cking tap and tell him he need to humble he self, he acting like a big boy, he is a primadonna, watch him, yuh doh need men who not cooperating with de other staff and think they know everything because he went to de Colorado mountains to try a team, maybe you could send him San Fernando hill to try de team.

Wallace: Yuh good, ah like de interview, de only thing that kinda shake me up was, ah see hair growing in de palm of yuh hand, what causing that?

Sam: Lol,,, I gone boss, good luck and them jail cell uniform allyuh order eh to bright, de red look like de jail in T&T and de away one look like Rikers Island, ah starting to believe that company cah afford 25 million to pay allyuh, 6.5 million a year and you working on a 200 thousand a month deficit?

Wallace: I got to go, Tallman calling me, he find ah rasta playing in Germany, he say he really good, de only problem is, he does smoke weed or else he cah play but once he smoke, de man does look like Brian Williams, dribble like Dwarika and smoke like Latas, but he bad, ah hear even he private part hair is dreads to, so he does run like he have a hernia and it does throw off players, them eh know what side he go run next step, so we go talk, before ah o, ah hear DJW calling Jack Warner to come sue us, but ah waiting, de man approach us to sell nuts by de hotel when it open.

Sam: Serious, let me axe him, later Wallace.

Sam: DJW, tha true boy, yuh want to some sell nuts by de hotel when it open?

DJW: All I have to say is, that is not true, I got money from the NIS loan, enough I could live on, that loan was sweet now de TTFA employers go pay while I live large, I don't lose, I always have a plan B, me and David Camara, he suck enough seed he now in CONCACAF big wok and he promise he not giving de TTFA no money, he go make it hard for them, but I cah say much because Stuart Charles calling me to go eat black puddin, he, Mike money hungry Berry and Dennis Lawrence, them is meh boys now, ah make sure and hook up Dennis by signing him for long term even though de only team he beat was Angullia in de past 15 games, just so I could set him up financially for de future, even though Berry go get more that half.

Sam: Well good bye, Villa Capri close dong, maybe yuh could bye de home of football hotel and open a hoe house, at least yuh go get money back to invest in St Lucian Connection.

DJW: Caricom rules, they are part of the Caribbean and should not be counted as foreigners, them does export nuff fig to T&T in exchange for pitch every year, so they play a big part of T&T economy because T&T don't plant no more, they cutting dong fruit trees to plant lawn in T&T now because they want to be Americanized, yuh eh see man drinking starbuck coffee in 99 degrees weather, I gone and they importing ground provision from Ghana, be time that get here to T&T all go be rotten.


« Last Edit: June 22, 2020, 09:49:31 AM by Sam »
Faster than a speeding pittbull
Stronger than a shot of ba-bash
Capable of storming any fete


Offline Tiresais

  • Hero Warrior
  • *****
  • Posts: 2562
    • View Profile
Re: My Interview with William Wallace
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2020, 04:30:56 AM »

11. Found big flaws from de Home of Football hotel which might have to be sold to de government to put illegal immigrants in cause in every country you go, them have de most rights including schools and hospitals while tax payers get f00ck. De TTFA don't have de money to fix the problems, DJW even take de bulbs from de hotels when he lost election.


Don't F*@%&g give them ideas Sam.

Offline Errol

  • Hero Warrior
  • *****
  • Posts: 708
    • View Profile
Re: My Interview with William Wallace
« Reply #2 on: March 11, 2020, 08:48:10 AM »
 :rotfl: :rotfl:

Oh gorm Sam, yuh killing meh.

Tallman will surely ban you.


Offline kounty

  • Hero Warrior
  • *****
  • Posts: 2933
  • Truthfulness is brighter than the light of the sun
    • View Profile
Re: My Interview with William Wallace
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2020, 01:55:49 PM »
 :beermug:
 :rotfl:

Offline soccerman

  • Hero Warrior
  • *****
  • Posts: 4497
    • View Profile
Re: My Interview with William Wallace
« Reply #4 on: March 16, 2020, 01:21:12 PM »
 :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: