http://www.trinidadexpress.com/commentaries/34_questions__with_answers-171639901.html1.Why was Section 34 proclaimed early?
Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar is a strong, caring, brilliant leader.
2. What is ten times three plus four?
A result that ensures non-black, non-poor, non-young men don't go to jail.
3. Why didn't anyone in Cabinet ask why Section 34 had to be proclaimed early?
Free jumbo shrimp.
4. Did Attorney General Anand Ramlogan know it would be futile to appeal the extradition judgment because Section 34 was coming?
The AG is not a criminal lawyer, a criminal, or waxed.
5. Did AG Ramlogan know that Ish and Steve were suing the State for $76 million in lawyers' fees?
The AG was an outstandingly successful lawyer before he was AG, and an astute buyer of buildings after.
6. What Government is on spin cycle 24/7?
Get white collars really clean with Detergent 34.
7. What is two times ten plus 14?
A number which sums up Herbert Volney's judicial record.
8. Who brought in Herbert Volney to be a candidate in the 2010 election?
Persons who were impressed with his judicial record.
9. Why did UNC leader Kamla Persad-Bissessar present Volney as the candidate for St Joseph?
Ms Persad-Bissessar is a fearless, brave, and courageous leader.
10. How does AG Ramlogan being on vacation for four days absolve him from responsibility in the months-long drafting and proclamation of Section 34?
Every MP was responsible, including Patrick Manning who showed what Calder Hart, Juliana Pena, and Andre Monteil could get away with.
11. Why is COP leader Prakash Ramadhar satisfied with the Prime Minister's action in the Section 34 scandal?
Ramadhar is very handsome.
12. Why hasn't anyone resigned from the Government over Section 34?
The COP represents new politics of principle, which is just like the old lack of principles.
13. Who changed "may" to "shall" in Section 34?
Every MP in Parliament is responsible, but Cabinet was misled.
14. Why is the Government holding a "pre-Budget rally"?
The People's Partnership is the most competent, innovative, and godly Government this country has ever had.
15. Why does the Integrity Commission not need to explain or justify any judgments it makes?
Because all the Commissioners have integrity or else they wouldn't have been appointed by President George Maxwell Richards.
16. Why does President Richards go on vacation every time the country has a controversial public issue?
Because he needs to rest before the next round of band launches.
17. How do citizens know that President Richards chose persons of integrity to sit on the Integrity Commission?
Because a man with his integrity would have resigned if he ever chose unsuitable persons for such a board.
18. Why did Cabinet agree to the early proclamation of Section 34?
Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar is a strong, caring, brilliant leader.
19. Why didn't God stop Section 34?
He did, through the strong, caring, brilliant Prime Minister.
20. Why didn't God prevent Section 34 from being re-written?
Mr Volney is a born-again Christian.
21. How did Ish and Steve know to file an injunction under Section 34 even before it was published in the Gazette?
Their lawyers called the Psychic Hotline at $13.65 a minute.
22. Why are Ish and Steve suing the State for $76 million in legal fees?
Their lawyers called the Psychic Hotline for $13.65 a minute.
23. What is 30 plus four?
A figure like 69, without the pleasure.
24. Why wasn't the list of scholarship winners published at once?
Because non-Indian parents might be embarrassed.
25. Why did a black woman bow down in front of Housing Minister Roodal Moonilal?
To embarrass PNM Leader Keith Rowley.
26. What is five times six plus four?
A figure party financiers can agree on.
27. Why did the Chief Justice Ivor Archie say that 2,840 divorce applications in 2011-2012 was a "conspicuous increase", when 2,857 cases were filed the previous year?
Because 17 fewer cases is half of 34.
28. Why did AG Ramlogan say that religious leaders should pay more attention to the rising divorce rate?
Because he was unable to count to 34.
29. Why do religious leaders think that T&T's 1-in-7 divorce rate is high?
Because 33 out of every 100 adults get married, so person 34 is fornicating.
30. Why was Jack Warner chosen to be National Security Minister?
Because laws against three-quarter jeans with a white vest would reduce crime.
31. What is Acting Police Commissioner Stephen Williams doing to reduce crime?
Acting.
32. Why was Vidwatie Persad Newton chosen to be the Prime Minister's personal assistant?
Because Kamla cares about the family.
33. Why was former journalist Sasha Mohammed chosen to be the Prime Minister's event planner at $30,000 a month?
Because journalists deserve to get National Awards when they assist such a strong, caring, brilliant leader.
34. When will Kevin Baldeosingh's naturally curly hair get straight?
When he realises that Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar is a strong, caring, brilliant leader.