To be honest, its not even about the actual name you are called, its the intent to abuse or disrespect you that does the damage. I'm white, so being called white shouldn't be a problem, right? But when a certain ex FIFAVice President said on a radio show "What is this white Englishman doing coming here are telling us about our football" I was offended. Why did he need to even state the fact that I was white? What did it have to do with the context? On the other hand, I get called "white boy", "honky" "vanilla" "wigga" and even "nigga" by friends and acquaintances and it doeasn't bother me at all.
Its similar to a friend giving you a dead arm or a horse bite and you laugh it off, but an asshole bumps you on purpose and you wanna slap him.
In the instance with the player, it was clearly intended to offend and therefore should be punished severely.
Like any weapon, words are benign until they are used to cause pain.
I have several Trini friends who we greet each other as "my brother from another mother".