Soca Warriors Online Discussion Forum
General => General Discussion => Topic started by: weary1969 on November 30, 2009, 01:01:11 PM
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Infidelity doesn’t cancel out love
Bobie-lee Dixon
Published: 30 Nov 2009
A woman may feel that she lacks sufficient proof that her spouse or significant other is actually having an affair.
Bobie-lee Dixon
What would you do if you found out that the boyfriend you considered to be prince charming, was nothing but a liar and a cheat? He was the best boyfriend you ever had. He treated you like a princess and made sure you were happy almost all the time. He rubbed your feet and took you to the beach quite often, he even cooked for you and would slow dance with you before it was “that time.” In your mind, you kept saying a little prayer for hope that it would last. “Thank you Lord for this wonderful man you sent into my life; he’s just perfect,” were the words from your heart. Now you are stuck between an apology and treachery.
Why women stay with men after they cheat
Most women who learned they were cheated on by their husbands or boyfriends often stay. Why? According to American infidelity examiner Ruth Houston, many people find it hard to understand why a woman would choose to stay in a marriage or a relationship with a man who has cheated on her, or who has a history of extramarital affairs. There are millions of women, who for various reasons, have chosen to stay with a cheating mate. Houston revealed that in her years of experience as a counselor, she has found the following being some of the main reasons why women may stay with a cheating husband or a boyfriend. She also indicated that these reasons may make sense only to the woman involved in such relationships.
Convenience—
It may be more convenient to stay with the cheater for the time being, until certain legal or financial measures have been put into place.
Financial reasons—
a woman may be financially dependent on her cheating mate.
Not willing to give up lifestyle—
leaving a wealthy or prominent man may mean that a woman has to give up a lavish lifestyle that includes a luxurious home, fancy car, expensive clothes and jewellery, exotic vacations and more.
Insufficient proof of infidelity—
A woman may feel that she lacks sufficient proof that her spouse or significant other is actually having an affair.
For the sake of the children—
some women feel that children should be raised in a two-parent home at all costs.
Fear of change—
leaving a long-time mate is a life-altering decision. A woman may be afraid to make such a drastic change in her life.
Low self esteem—a woman may have so little confidence in herself that she feels unable to make it on her own.
Bad timing—
the current economic situation, a serious illness, or any number of other problems may mean that leaving the cheater has to be put on temporary hold.
Thinking the cheater will change—
a woman may truly believe that a husband or boyfriend with a history of cheating will eventually change his cheating ways.
To achieve career goals—
remaining in the marriage or relationship with the cheater may be instrumental in the achievement of the woman’s career goals.
Hoping counselling will help—
if the couple, or the cheater himself is getting professional counselling, the woman may be hopeful that this will help.
Fear of being alone—
some women simply do not want to live without a man in their life and feel that even a cheating man is better than no man at all.
Loyalty—
a woman may feel that loyalty to her husband or mate overrules infidelity on his part. She may be determined to hang in there with him to the bitter end.
Religious beliefs—
for some wives, divorcing a cheating husband goes against their religious beliefs.
Desire to keep the family intact—
there are wives who believe it’s important to keep up the illusion of an intact family, despite the their husbands’ having affairs.
Belief that it won’t happen again—
a woman may feel that her husband’s or boyfriend’s infidelity is an isolated incident that will never happen again.
Love—
Infidelity doesn’t instantly cancel out love. A woman may still be very much in love with her husband or boyfriend, despite the fact that he has cheated on her.
Think
For every woman who has been faced with the reality of a cheating husband or boyfriend, no one but themselves can make the decision to stay or leave. A woman should examine her situation carefully before making her final decision. But, she must also keep in mind, though the cheater might be sorry for what he did, it doesn't mean it can't happen again. Love first knows respect; cheating can lead to the destruction of a beautiful home.
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Weary what does all of this say about a woman's ability to love and respect thy self first?
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Stop hatin on Tiger
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Jus remember it have 2 sides to de story ok. :devil: :beermug:
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Jus remember it have 2 sides to de story ok. :devil: :beermug:
3 sides actually. Hers, Yours and dey truth!!
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Weary what does all of this say about a woman's ability to love and respect thy self first?
Gyul some of dem reasons pitiful like d women who game up wit dem especially wit d # of STI's. So I guess dey go have d finances to deal wit d illnesses like cervical cancer from d number of sexual pardners dat dey inherit from dey pardner.Jus remember it have 2 sides to de story ok. :devil: :beermug:
3 sides actually. Hers, Yours and dey truth!!
COSIGNNNNNNNNNN
CO
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Weary what does all of this say about a woman's ability to love and respect thy self first?
Gyul some of dem reasons pitiful like d women who game up wit dem especially wit d # of STI's. So I guess dey go have d finances to deal wit d illnesses like cervical cancer from d number of sexual pardners dat dey inherit from dey pardner:
PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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All woman know how de bread butter oui
90% of woman who marrid:
Ah average or poor man and he cheat...de woman pack up she ting and gorne
Ah very wealthy man and he cheat...she willing to 'work past it'
Tiger wife embarrased she get horn
Tiger embarassed dat he wife beat up he ass in de road and leave him unconscious
...but dat viking eh goin no whey
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how yuh know Tiger cheat..... ::)
give meh some evidence nah man
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All woman know how de bread butter oui
90% of woman who marrid:
Ah average or poor man and he cheat...de woman pack up she ting and gorne
Ah very wealthy man and he cheat...she willing to 'work past it'
Tiger wife embarrased she get horn
Tiger embarassed dat he wife beat up he ass in de road and leave him unconscious
...but dat viking eh goin no whey
Then again she could always take half or do like Berlusconi ex and make him pay 40+ million a year.
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Dutty if d man poor she leavin him 4 who? If she wit a poor man she probably worse off unless she mindin him then she will leave him.
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Since this is a male driven forum, my question is: Would you stay with her if she cheated?
All the fellas can do is speculate on what we would do. But what would YOU do?
_______
I realized after asking the question that because it is a male driven forum, fellas may not want to talk true...
:devil:
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Since this is a male driven forum, my question is: Would you stay with her if she cheated?
All the fellas can do is speculate on what we would do. But what would YOU do?
_______
I realized after asking the question that because it is a male driven forum, fellas may not want to talk true...
:devil:
If I have to go and fight up in court and my assets get liquidated so she could get half, I wouldn't bother.
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so it's an economic decision for you too?
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Since this is a male driven forum, my question is: Would you stay with her if she cheated?
All the fellas can do is speculate on what we would do. But what would YOU do?
_______
I realized after asking the question that because it is a male driven forum, fellas may not want to talk true...
:devil:
http://media.imeem.com/m/XlT_z21Nnj/aus=false/
http://www.youtube.com/v/8dWo72fJELg http://www.youtube.com/v/vnMz9bzu_Ww
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so Tallie, what does this mean?
You staying you going?
You staying married but going outside too?
what?
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so Tallie, what does this mean?
You staying you going?
You staying married but going outside too?
what?
Honestly, although it would bruise de ego, I feel yuh could work through de situation. If is ah habitual ting den yuh gotta go, but is only de individual dat it happen to would know whether or not it worth saving. Ah mean after all, people does do all kinda shit in ah relationship. Why does a sexual transgression be so high up in de scale? Me eh relly know, ah jes aksin.
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Honestly, although it would bruise de ego, I feel yuh could work through de situation. If is ah habitual ting den yuh gotta go, but is only de individual dat it happen to would know whether or not it worth saving. Ah mean after all, people does do all kinda shit in ah relationship. Why does a sexual transgression be so high up in de scale? Me eh relly know, ah jes aksin.
If she stepped out on you because you're not giving her the time or attention she needs it's one thing. If she stepped out because you're failing to please her, it's another. If she stepped out because she is loose like that, it's another story again. There are many reasons for a woman to step. If she is a 'good' woman, she won't do it lightly either. That's when you have to look closely at the man in the mirror.
Yes it is all individual. Then too, when you have other people putting in their 2 cents it becomes a matter of pride and a lot of other unnecessary things come in to play. Suddenly everybody is an expert on your marriage.
I think the transgression aspect is high because folks talk about the 'sanctity' of marriage. Sharing your chosen mate, especially today, seems a little too much for the western mind to embrace.
Fellas like Bob Marley were married, publicly served as the village ram, yet, Rita stayed close. We still admire him and avoid the 'whole' of him. A woman does that and the name-calling fly like spit from a vagrant.
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it is not a black and white issue..
but generally speaking (although this becoming less so) sexual transgressions hold different connotations for a woman than a man. and no i not talking about social norms or expectations, i talking about wiring.. men from venus, women from mars..
commenceth the uproar...
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it is not a black and white issue..
but generally speaking (although this becoming less so) sexual transgressions hold different connotations for a woman than a man. and no i not talking about social norms or expectations, i talking about wiring.. men from venus, women from mars..
commenceth the uproar...
yuh accustom to uproar? LOL
Yes we're wired differently they tell us.
But I recall some years ago, in a conversation with my gentleman-friend and 2 other close friends (not as close as Anya's friends eh?). The topic was relationships. And (I will blame the wine), I said a woman should be able to have different men for different needs without society calling her names.
Well..lawd...good ting ah had meh vex money chook in meh brassiere... :rotfl: :rotfl:
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it is not a black and white issue..
but generally speaking (although this becoming less so) sexual transgressions hold different connotations for a woman than a man. and no i not talking about social norms or expectations, i talking about wiring.. men from venus, women from mars..
commenceth the uproar...
yuh accustom to uproar? LOL
Yes we're wired differently they tell us.
But I recall some years ago, in a conversation with my gentleman-friend and 2 other close friends (not as close as Anya's friends eh?). The topic was relationships. And (I will blame the wine), I said a woman should be able to have different men for different needs without society calling her names.
Well..lawd...good ting ah had meh vex money chook in meh brassiere... :rotfl: :rotfl:
:rotfl:
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If is just a girlfriend especially if no children involved it eh hard to walk out. I find that is a big deal. It real hard to go back to normal after that. Especially if yuh see it live.
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Since this is a male driven forum, my question is: Would you stay with her if she cheated?
All the fellas can do is speculate on what we would do. But what would YOU do?
_______
I realized after asking the question that because it is a male driven forum, fellas may not want to talk true...
:devil:
If my wife cheated the marriage is over, no long talk, no screaming fit just me walking out the door. It's not a matter of pride or forgiveness but one of trust. To put it simply I would never be able to trust her again and I can't spend my life with someone I don't trust.
-
Since this is a male driven forum, my question is: Would you stay with her if she cheated?
All the fellas can do is speculate on what we would do. But what would YOU do?
_______
I realized after asking the question that because it is a male driven forum, fellas may not want to talk true...
:devil:
If my wife cheated the marriage is over, no long talk, no screaming fit just me walking out the door. It's not a matter of pride or forgiveness but one of trust. To put it simply I would never be able to trust her again and I can't spend my life with someone I don't trust.
:beermug: :beermug:
As my granny use to say "look beyond love!"
I have to agree, I will not stay. Once that trust and honestly is gone in a relationship, it is not possible to share my bed with you. I will never deny my kids to see their father. Although he will not be a part of my life, he is still part of theirs. But when they get older and start asking questions, I won't lie. Children smart and they understand more than we give them credit for.
Bottom line is women and men put all their eggs in one basket. Nobody thinking, okay put aside some in case of emergency or just in case of disappointment. I call that protection. People assume once they married a joint account comes after. People assume once they married, everything is shared, including car, house and valuables. People assume once they married, everything they owned prior to should be sold or given up.
A friend of mine, before her marriage or seeing him, purchased ah 2 bedroom house, has a car and assets from some investment thingy. 3 years of marriage, the house is rented (extra income), she still has her car and the investment is still there building. That is her protection, in case of disappointment. Her husband is aware of this, and I'm sure he has his protection set up already. It's not like they expect something to happen in the relationship, but you never know.
So for people to say "oh gawd I cyah leave because of the children or finances"......10 years ago I would have accepted that excuse, not today.
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My grandfather and his wife typical of that. She realise de scene from early....and only had one chile with him....and more times dan not does jus be home inside. Me eh kno how she coping with dat...buh she accustom it seems. And even in he 70's it eh changing.....I have an aunt that's 1 year old from wha i heard.....
I doh think i could be selfish enough to put somebody through dat nah.
From what i have noticed however......if a man horning....it somehow tends to be seen as him being greedy.
If a woman horning....yuh tend to hear..."Oh he wasnt meeting this need or that need.."
Rel men who working offshore....who married.....fully well know wha does be happening in that 2 weeks that they on de rig working like a dog. Some doh fight up..cuz de stress eh worth it......some doh even bother to commit.....and does patronize villa etc. Some who married go jus give dey wife whaever so she eh go disturb dem and dem doing wha dey want. I cyar see de sense i working hard to provide and I getting dat kinda treatment....buh.....everybody does see things different.
If it eh have no trust..it eh have no point. And i know while i might be willing to work with it....it go be hard....and i eh certain wha i go do.
The thing is.....think how hard it might be to meet ALL ALL ALL of a woman needs adequately......
The females here might be able to quantify them in terms of importance or if i leave out any...buh from wha i gather it mostly is....
Financial Security
Quality Time
Emotional Connection
Similar Ideals and Goals
Sexual Pleasure
add to the rest please...
The jobs that pay the best are the incidentally tend to be ones where you real demands are placed on your time. Unless you want a man selling drugs......the two would be mutually exclusive for a while.
Emotions would only go so far....and I sure if anything falling short.....it would put a strain on that connection.
Dahs how i see it.....I not female.....buh.....understanding a scene before yuh get into a problem important.
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From what i have noticed however......if a man horning....it somehow tends to be seen as him being greedy.
If a woman horning....yuh tend to hear..."Oh he wasnt meeting this need or that need.."
In this time man and woman greedy alike. I not getting tie up with that at all.
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From what i have noticed however......if a man horning....it somehow tends to be seen as him being greedy.
If a woman horning....yuh tend to hear..."Oh he wasnt meeting this need or that need.."
In this time man and woman greedy alike. I not getting tie up with that at all.
Exactly. Buh yuh go hear de apologetics for dem....
"Oh..he wasnt givin she enuff time...."
"He couldnt support me...."
In both instances is greed. Humans eh perfect....hold strain with wha yuh have....unless is a genuinely abusive and unhealthy situation. Buh people who gone and mash up a relationship dat didnt have no major problems doh get no sympathy from me at all.
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"From what i have noticed however......if a man horning....it somehow tends to be seen as him being greedy.
If a woman horning....yuh tend to hear..."Oh he wasnt meeting this need or that need.." - Bourbon
Okay, from a woman's perspective, that is one of the main reasons. But my question to that is, why show off and promise the world while dating or for the older heads - courting, while you wearing your brother drawers? Show your true colors. If she still hanging around when she knows you could only organize ah KFC 3 piece on ah Friday night, then you set, because then she knows this is what you can offer to the relationship. ;D But no, ya paying for expensive dinner and behind the woman back you hadda pay back some frien' ya borrow dey money from.
She tell you she's ah gouti in bed but when ya watch dey scene she like ah mosquito in ya ears. You gone looking for ah mute. So I guess it goes both ways.
Anyway I dunno, I could only speak for myself. Forget embarrassment, financial issues, family (both sides) and what friends say, it all boils down to you and your self respect yes!
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"From what i have noticed however......if a man horning....it somehow tends to be seen as him being greedy.
If a woman horning....yuh tend to hear..."Oh he wasnt meeting this need or that need.." - Bourbon
Okay, from a woman's perspective, that is one of the main reasons. But my question to that is, why show off and promise the world while dating or for the older heads - courting, while you wearing your brother drawers? Show your true colors. If she still hanging around when she knows you could only organize ah KFC 3 piece on ah Friday night, then you set, because then she knows this is what you can offer to the relationship. ;D But no, ya paying for expensive dinner and behind the woman back you hadda pay back some frien' ya borrow dey money from.
She tell you she's ah gouti in bed but when ya watch dey scene she like ah mosquito in ya ears. You gone looking for ah mute. So I guess it goes both ways.
Anyway I dunno, I could only speak for myself. Forget embarrassment, financial issues, family (both sides) and what friends say, it all boils down to you and your self respect yes!
Me eh goin thru dat. I up front...cuz dah way yuh eh go get no surprises. Buh den it goes both ways...why wear weave and yuh hair long like rice grain? Why wear makeup? People often due to a lack of satisfaction with deyself go give a favorable picture that may not always be true.
Another theory i've heard is that some women have this fairy tale complex.
Explanation:
One time on a radio show.....they had people call in and asked them to recount what they remembered from various fairy tales. Generally women were able to recount..and recount with detail those fairy tales better than the men. They postulated the theory that women were all thought to think of romance in fairy tale terms.....Prince Charming comes in and sweeps them off their feet....or they kiss a frog and turns into a prince....and of course the happily ever after. And this obviously is within a fantasy realm....whereas these women left to live in the real world. And it makes sense...if you ask girls what their perfect idea of a first date would be...they giving yuh real detail. Romance novels......where yuh getting a setta descriptions bout how and how not. Women universally have a fondness for weddings...in fact quite a lot start planning their weddings from like 9 and ting. So yeah....dey expect so much.....and men doh think like dat.....would obviously not see it like that...and thus.....problems start. Den yuh meet some mamaguy man who know wha chords to pluck....yuh eat a chain up and gone and cause rel problems.
One of my favorite songs is Prophet Benjamin- Pretty Boy. I does rel laff with it....cuz i see it happen nuff times. People gone chasing waterfalls....and realise dey bounce dey head. Is to laff at dem....cuz two birds in de bush does always seem better dan one in hand. So...if is dah wha yuh did want...is dah wha yuh did want.
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Oh yes..i now remember me and my brethrin did find a book by he father entitled Horn and Horn Management.
Rel good.
We did scan it to pdf and ting.
Look it here (http://www.sendspace.com/file/mf1x71)
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de day anybody hear me say I marr'red fuh financial support dey have my permission to rake back and slap me from here to eternity.
Not this lady...
But, I'm aware some women are looking for a meal ticket. That's their funeral.
I had made my plans never to get married. I had absolutely no healthy marriages around me to view as a prototype. I also did not have a mattress tied on my back to be dropping so for every salute. I did not want children. Career, travel, some intense hobbies. I was good.
Den mister come from over so and had me rethinking my plans and look me now playing Mistress Cleaver and loving it.
Both of us lucky in that respect. it took work, serious work but we can now watch each other and feel nice to know we reach. Poor fella... ;D
He knows that he is not nailed to me and I to him. I don't watch time, check pockets or call up. Why? Not because I want to drevay or leave him to drevay but because we trust each other. We share almost everything. I say almost because we understand we each have interests we cannot force the other to share. It works for us.
Some of us ladies plenty miserable, I accept that. Some lose themselves and become their husband's peon so that when things go sour they have no clue how to handle themselves.
Once again, there is no hard and fast rule. No guarantee of success. But I'm thinking if you like variety, love to have your cake and eat it, then marriage in the accepted sense isn't for you. Find a spouse who doesn't mind swinging or remain single.
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aaaps! Tiger get ketch! :rotfl: :rotfl:
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aaaps! Tiger get ketch! :rotfl: :rotfl:
How you know dat, he only admitted to "personal sins", dat could be pickin his nose, lol.
Tiger is a disappointment, whatever happened to the Shaggy approach? ;D
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well, well...i guess that fella who make all the calculations about tiger's supposed hit rate wasn;t talking arseness boy ;D
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well, well...i guess that fella who make all the calculations about tiger's supposed hit rate wasn;t talking arseness boy ;D
D fella was on 2 sumting
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Tiger turn out to be a cheetah
:rotfl:
arrrm ok :-[ Let me just get meh coat
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Tiger turn out to be a cheetah
:rotfl:
arrrm ok :-[ Let me just get meh coat
Yes plssssssss
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Ahh boy... look like Tiger's Wood get him in trouble wid wifey. Lucky fuh him that was two-tons of fine American steel standing between him and the 5-iron, lol
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de man put out ah family photo jus in time for christmas
(http://members.roadfly.com/paweeky/eltigre.jpg)
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jezzan ages :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
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jezzan ages :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Here nah dey doh stop here yuh know lawdddddddd fadderrrrrrrr
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jezzan ages :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Here nah dey doh stop here yuh know lawdddddddd fadderrrrrrrr
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
look dutty, u is hell oui!! I EH ABLE!!!
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
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Fack dem Tiger
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jezzan ages :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Here nah dey doh stop here yuh know lawdddddddd fadderrrrrrrr
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
look dutty, u is hell oui!! I EH ABLE!!!
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
It gone viral get it in meh email 2day.
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:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
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I think Monogamy is unnatural. It's a social convention that allows our human society to function in the way that we as a people have come to define as civilized. It's the foundation of the typical family unit- which is the root (direct or indirect) of many an individual success/happiness...Traditional gender roles (established whenever way back) skewed the onus of monogamy (in the family unit) towards female responsibility. These same traditional gender roles also skewed the onus of financial support towards male responsibility...For a long time, in the absence of equal civil rights and equal opportunity, these gender roles represented somewhat of a common human "law" (so to speak)....These gender role were/are also so powerful that we don't even know the answer to the nature vs nurture argument as it relates to monogamy...
With modernization, increased civil liberties and equal opportunity, the gender roles which were at one time "sufficient" are starting to crumble, and the concept of monogamy is now legitimately controversial...not because people nowadays necessarily behave any differently as far as fidelity goes....but because people have become more outspoken against tradition, the once accepted onus of responsibility as far as fidelity goes is now shifting in the balance..... and the level of exposure has exponentially increased. It's just another complexity of modernization- and no matter how much yuh try to define man & woman, and set rules for behavior, and define appropriate consequences for people's actions, the end result is the same..i.e. there is no formula, and no absolute right or wrong hence the absurdity of the standard blanket vows of responsibility in (Western) marriage which obviously don't pertain to everyone...yet every married person takes them...
End of day there's just fair and unfair. i.e. Treat people as you would have them treat you, and take responsibility for your actions as you would expect your spouse/partner to do if the tables were turned. If people could agree upon a system of fairness before embarking on a committed relationship, and then stand by their agreement there would be no issues, and the concept of "cheating" would barely if at all exist....
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I have heard every argument there could possibly be to justify why a man could and should accept sex from anybody who offers- but really! the only reason for the debate is that there is a man being unfaithful. If the unfaithful partner was the woman the argument would have stopped early on with - 'he have every right to beat her'
well- actually I was faced with that very choice during my marriage- and the questions were the same- stay or go- if you stay what would your life be like? if you go how do you survive as a single mother?
well survival is no easy task- but sleeping at night without wondering where your wandering man is a pleasure beyond measure...and actually not having to deal with those 'good friends' that enable the waywardness is another relief- pretending that there is nothing wrong is very stressful- and definitely not worth it.
the only real question then is- do you think your man is good enough to have only half of him? do your children need half a father? or is none just as good? that depends on his actual record while he is in the marriage..
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I have heard every argument there could possibly be to justify why a man could and should accept sex from anybody who offers- but really! the only reason for the debate is that there is a man being unfaithful. If the unfaithful partner was the woman the argument would have stopped early on with - 'he have every right to beat her'
well- actually I was faced with that very choice during my marriage- and the questions were the same- stay or go- if you stay what would your life be like? if you go how do you survive as a single mother?
well survival is no easy task- but sleeping at night without wondering where your wandering man is a pleasure beyond measure...and actually not having to deal with those 'good friends' that enable the waywardness is another relief- pretending that there is nothing wrong is very stressful- and definitely not worth it.
the only real question then is- do you think your man is good enough to have only half of him? do your children need half a father? or is none just as good? that depends on his actual record while he is in the marriage..
Right dere...talk done!!! :beermug:
But where the children are concerned, I will demand that he is there for support. If he wants to be financially supportive, so be it, but its not mandatory. I doh care how much spare bedroom in dey house, ya not sleeping here.
But in other news....which one ah allyuh men in here could handle 9 woman excluding wife??? :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Tiger living up to he surname oui!! When ah leave dey house this morning it was 6. Time I come back and switch on dey TV for dey 5 pm news...is 9. Oh gawd :rotfl: :rotfl:
And if he Viking of ah wife knows what dey hell good for her, she better go check she damn self. Could you imagine what this man brought home?
Other than being unfaithful, this clearly is a disease. I ain't doing no homework tonight. I going and bing and google this shit!!
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Rooks gyul where he find time 2 play golf. He goin and b best man 4 a guy who buy 1 ah d gyul a ticket for d hook up in Australia. Dat woman brave oui so when Tiger return d favour I hope she eh shock.
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Trojan sponsor dis guy to beta tess dey product or wha?
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Trojan sponsor dis guy to beta tess dey product or wha?
We hope or he wife go b testin d cervical cancer drug.
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Since this is a male driven forum, my question is: Would you stay with her if she cheated?
All the fellas can do is speculate on what we would do. But what would YOU do?
_______
I realized after asking the question that because it is a male driven forum, fellas may not want to talk true...
:devil:
If my wife cheated the marriage is over, no long talk, no screaming fit just me walking out the door. It's not a matter of pride or forgiveness but one of trust. To put it simply I would never be able to trust her again and I can't spend my life with someone I don't trust.
What would you do? is a complex question and the answer is "it depends".
My initial reaction was not dissimilar to PantherX. i.e the trust was violated. But in retrospect. it depends on what precipitated the event. It all depends.
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Rooks gyul where he find time 2 play golf. He goin and b best man 4 a guy who buy 1 ah d gyul a ticket for d hook up in Australia. Dat woman brave oui so when Tiger return d favour I hope she eh shock.
Well point fingers at he caddie and inner circle eh? No wonder why nobody coulda get ein there so easy. And doh be surprise if ya ain't hear dey inner circle does share plenty things other dan balls.
Ya see another prime example of never judging dey book by dey cover. I have been to so many business seminars and motivational talks, and the speakers forever using this sonnaaa bitch as their guide line of a " successful man that has it all". Ah sure they re-writing they frigging script all now so.
If my chile say he wanna grow up like Tiger, I'll rock he face wid a cuff :rotfl: :rotfl:
But I really have to give this man he jacket. 9 woman??? Some ah allyuh in here cyah even handle 1.
steupse!!
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Infidelity...caught in the act
Cherisse Moe
Published: 7 Dec 2009
Cherisse Moe
Infidelity. If this topic seems overdone, it’s only because it never looses it’s relevance. In fact, it’s been very much in the news this past week, due to the alleged indiscretions of top American golfer Tiger Woods. So, why is infidelity, aka “horning,” such a hot topic? Because it seems that some men and women are allergic to having one partner, staying faithful to that partner and keeping their hands, lips and other body parts to themselves. Relationship experts in the US assert that half of all marriages in that country end in divorce. The common thread is infidelity.
Also known as cheating, infidelity has become the norm, rather than the exception in today’s society. Infidelity does not discriminate. It can rear its ugly head at anytime. Anyone can be a victim. The cheater can carry on the affair for months and even years. Experts say in many cases, infidelity never gets discovered. But what happens when the player gets caught? The following stories about infidelity are real. The names have been changed to protect the innocent—and the guilty too.
A technological glitch
This is Jason’s story.
“My girlfriend and I were working in different parts of the world and decided to communicate by Skype phone, using a webcam. One night I spoke with her, then we said good night and hung up. I had a friend over that night. The following morning, me and the friend had sex. Ten minutes after I was done, I got a text message telling me that I was the worst thing ever and that we were over. I didn’t understand what was happening until I walked over to the computer and saw that it said “current Skype call, 8 hours 30, minutes, 15 seconds...16...etc.” I’d left the webcam on all night. She’d witnessed my entire indiscretion.”
The gender problem
Helen’s experience is sure to raise some eyebrows!
“My husband and I had been together for two years. We were really close. One Thursday afternoon last year, however, he showed his true colours. I wasn’t feeling well that day and left work early. When I got there, his car was parked in the driveway. I was shocked, to say the least, because when we spoke earlier he said he would be at the office very late, as he had stuff to finish up.
As I opened the door, I heard moaning coming from the bedroom. I pressed my ear to the door and heard someone call out his name—but the voice sounded like a man! I banged open the door and there he was... having sex...with a man! I froze. The three of us stared at one another for what seemed for like an eternity. He later apologised and confessed that he was only experimenting. We’re still together but we’re doing counselling. I’ve never gotten over it.”
Psychologist—People can die of a broken heart
Local psychologist Dr Dorrell Philip says one of the most important issues with infidelity is what it does to the victim. These victims, who she says are mostly women, remain tight-lipped about the situation in an attempt to avoid embarrassment. “Some woman put up the face that everything is ok. Our society does not allow you to ‘bawl’ or lash out and say ‘what you did to me is not acceptable.’ So everything is bottled in. In my business, I hear a lot of it.”
Dr Philip asserts that many women who fall prey to infidelity develop illnesses because of the grief and hurt they experience. “In the last two years I’ve been looking at it. A lot of physical ailments are linked to a sense of anger, rejection and betrayal.” She adds, “They say men can’t take horn; what about women? I truly believe that a woman can die of broken heart.” Dr Philip says women who willingly go after another woman’s man must also shoulder the blame. “Women must take responsibility for their actions. My mother used to say, ‘don’t ever make another woman cry.’”
Facts
Given the secretive nature of infidelity, exact statistics on the issue are nearly impossible to establish. These are some of the most well-supported facts about cheating in the US.
• Thirty to 60 per cent of all individuals will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage.
• Two to three per cent of all children are the product of infidelity. Most are unknowingly raised by men who aren't their biological fathers.
• Men are more likely to cheat than women. But, as women become more independent, they're acting more like men with respect to infidelity.
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Trojan sponsor dis guy to beta tess dey product or wha?
Jaimee Grubbs -- a 24-year-old cocktail waitress who broke the news to Us Weekly that she had a 31-month affair with Tiger Woods -- says the golfer, 33, never wanted to use protection.
"He didn't use a condom," says Grubbs, who adds that Woods also didn't ask if she was on birth control, either. "It wasn't even discussed. He just never used one."
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Has anyone asked her why she spill the beans in the first place or what lead up to her opening another hole?
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Well breaking news from msNBC this morning....
A female was transported to the hospital on life support from Tiger house late lass night....
Unidentified!!!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34323757/ns/sports-golf/
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Well breaking news from msNBC this morning....
A female was transported to the hospital on life support from Tiger house late lass night....
Unidentified!!!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34323757/ns/sports-golf/
more drama ...
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What de hell!!....well yes, ah man life just unravelling just so, just so in less than a week.....and what ah man too, nice squeaky clean Tiger...papa....
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Good grief.
Why did he get married? If he were a single man this would have simply been a chuckle and a wink story. He could have slept with every skirt between here and Bangkok - no worries. Why the farce? Did he tick off somebody at US Magazine?
I'm waiting for a few of them to turn out to be men to complete the bacchanal.
Mistakes happen, people sleep around but this is now a cartoon.
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What would you do? is a complex question and the answer is "it depends".
My initial reaction was not dissimilar to PantherX. i.e the trust was violated. But in retrospect. it depends on what precipitated the event. It all depends.
I'm with you there Pecan. It depends.
I like to think I have a strong relationship with my mister. It would take some monumental shift for either of us to stray at this stage in our game. Life has a way of making a mess out of the best laid (no pun) plans.
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Well breaking news from msNBC this morning....
A female was transported to the hospital on life support from Tiger house late lass night....
Unidentified!!!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34323757/ns/sports-golf/
OCOEE, Fla. (AP) - Tiger Woods' mother-in-law was admitted to a hospital with stomach pains early Tuesday, a hospital spokesman said.
Someone called 911 from the golfer's Orlando-area mansion about 2:35 a.m.
Tiger's Troubles Can't get enough? We've got all the latest on Tiger.
Barbro Holmberg was taken by ambulance to Health Central Hospital, where she was in stable condition later Tuesday, hospital spokesman Dan Yates said. He said her condition was not serious but he could not be more specific because of privacy laws.
Holmberg, who arrived in the U.S. a few days ago, lives in Sweden and is the mother of Woods' wife, Elin.
Health Central is the same hospital where Woods was treated after he crashed his sport utility vehicle outside his home last month.
Yates said Holmberg was in a private room and the family has hired additional security to keep the media away. He said family members have visited her, but he would say who.
"She's in a wing that helps protect her privacy," Yates said.
Media attention has been focused on the world's No. 1 golfer since he hit a hydrant and a tree around 2:25 a.m. on Nov. 27.
The Florida Highway Patrol last week cited Woods for careless driving and fined him $164.
The accident - and Woods' refusal to answer questions about it - fueled speculation about a possible dispute between him and Elin.
Just days before the crash, a National Enquirer story alleged Woods had been seeing a New York nightclub hostess, Rachel Uchitel, who has denied it. After the crash, Us Weekly reported that a Los Angeles cocktail waitress named Jaimee Grubbs claims she had a 31-month affair with Woods.
Last week, Woods issued a statement saying he had let his family down with unspecified "transgressions" that he regrets with "all of my heart." He did not elaborate.
A police report on the crash released Monday showed that a Florida trooper who suspected Woods was driving under the influence sought a subpoena for the golfer's blood results from the hospital he was taken to after the crash, but prosecutors rejected the petition for insufficient information.
A witness, who wasn't identified in the report, told trooper Joshua Evans that Woods had been drinking alcohol earlier. The same witness also said Woods had been prescribed two drugs, Ambien and Vicodin.
The report did not say who the witness was but added it was the same person who pulled Woods from the vehicle after the accident. Woods' wife, Elin, has told police that she used a golf club to smash the back windows of the Cadillac Escalade to help her husband out. His injuries were minor.
The sister of a neighbor who called 911 after the crash told troopers that Holmberg and Woods' mother, were also at the scene, but the AP has not been able to confirm that.
Eva Malmborg, a spokeswoman for Holmberg, said she could not comment on Tuesday's reports.
Malmborg confirmed Holmberg had taken a week's leave from her job as Gavleborg county governor in central-east Sweden, but said she did not know where Holmberg had gone.
There was no sign of emergency workers later Tuesday morning at the Woods' gated community, where luxury SUVs and cars drove in and out as a few reporters and television news trucks milled around outside.
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Did this post come out before the Tiger incident? If so, we real have goat mouth.
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Did this post come out before the Tiger incident? If so, we real have goat mouth.
Nah it was after
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I thought this SNL bit on Tiger situation was kinda funny (sorry don't know how to embed).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01tIerAhzfk
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I thought this SNL bit on Tiger situation was kinda funny (sorry don't know how to embed).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01tIerAhzfk
http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/01tIerAhzfk
Check my quote u will see the code
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dont chase.......replace.
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Ah read this a long time ago....can't find the source regarding how infidelity' is handled generally by the different genders:
Women: " women tend to forgive men who engage in physical relationships more readily than males." Women are more unforgiving of their spouse who is involve in an emotional attachment with another woman.
Men: " men tend to forgive women who engage more readily in emotional connections with other men" However men are not as forgiving of the woman who betrays him physically with another male.
Me eh know and I eh putting it to the test...ah just sharing.
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THIS ARTICLE SUPPORTS WHAT I JUST SAID ABOVE:
By Diana Vilibert and Abraham Lloyd
Is Emotional or Physical Cheating Worse?
He Said/She Said
ShaneKato
He Said: Cheating, when you whittle it down to its essence, is an expression of contempt. It's how we tell each other in sometimes subtle, other times obvious ways that we do not need our partners. It is how we punish each other for the frustrations we have in our common lives.
Sometimes we cheat to hurt our partners; other times we do so to hurt ourselves. We nurture other relationships to fill gaps or needs that remain unfulfilled with our partners and find substitutes for contributions to our lives that we wish they would meet, but unfortunately do not.
We cheat out of frustration, desire, anger, and resentment. To be fair, good things can sometimes come out of cheating. In the end, though, cheating inevitably hurts at least one person -- and usually more than that.
For men, physical cheating is more painful than emotional cheating because we, as a gender, relate to everything in a physical way first. This is our nature. We are possessive and protective of our partners in a way that is reminiscent of cavemen protecting cavewomen with spears and clubs.
Sure, we don't mind if you take a male friend shopping (secretly, some of us are thanking him). If we are out, though, we are always watching other men and aware of who is paying attention to you. When we leave you alone at an event, we scan the room to take an inventory of the men that noticed you, speak to you, and come close to you.
Does it seem a little silly? Possibly. In our defense, though, we can't help it; it's instinctual. The reality is that while we don't care with whom you shop, talk, eat, or text, we do care deeply about who looks at you, smells your hair, holds your hand, and takes you to bed.
For men, the act of learning about our partner's infidelity is, simply put, emasculating -- and the rejection that comes with this realization is painful. This pain, in turn, is only magnified by how much we care for our partners.
In the end, the reason that physical cheating is so painful is that we can envision it. We can play back the rendezvous in our mind over and over and relive our partner seeking comfort or escape in the arms of another. When you compare this to emotional cheating, it is clear why physical cheating is more painful to deal with, and why physical cheating leads to the end of so many relationships.
She Said: Without a doubt, when it comes to cheating, sexual indiscretions are the lesser of the two evils -- not because it's necessarily easier to forgive a partner's one-night stand, but because an emotional affair generally means the cheater has already thrown in the towel on your relationship.
Take the most recent political cheating scandal, for example. When Governor Mark Sanford revealed that he had been cheating on his wife, I was surprised to find that some people had sympathy for him on the grounds that he was in love with his mistress. Now, he says he's going to try falling back in love with his wife (how noble!). I won't be holding my breath.
Here's my issue with this claim, whoever makes it -- there is no such thing as accidentally getting a little too drunk and carrying on a passionate love affair. There's no emotional cheating equivalent to a one-night stand. It's generally quite a calculated and elaborate production to hide one.
That's not to say that physical cheating happens only under those one-night-only inebriated conditions, but purely physically cheating generally does -- if you're having a long-term sexual affair or hooking up with a friend who isn't your significant other, chances are that it's either a result of or has resulted in emotional infidelity as well.
So the problem isn't that one kind of cheating is more or less forgivable than the other -- it's that forgiving and forgetting isn't an option when your partner has emotionally cheated. Your partner doesn't want to be forgiven -- they want out. They want out but can't or won't pull the trigger, consciously or subconsciously forcing their partner to be the one who calls it quits.
In Governor Sanford's case, neither he nor is wife is doing that -- instead she'll try to forgive him for his infidelity while he tries to fall in love with her. I can fathom forgiving and moving past a boyfriend's one-night stand, but I don't know a single couple who has been able to continue dating after an emotional infidelity -- especially when, as in the governor's case, the cheater needs to make a concerted effort to fall back in love with his significant other.
Abraham Lloyd is a divorced dad, closet geek, and aspiring author dating in New York City. He believes all men should own at least five jackets, know how to dance, and pay on a first date. You can tweet him at twitter.com/abrahamlloyd.
Diana Vilibert is Marie Claire 's associate Web editor, a chronic oversharer, closet romantic, and blind-date addict. You can e-stalk her at diana-vilibert.com.
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I thought this SNL bit on Tiger situation was kinda funny (sorry don't know how to embed).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01tIerAhzfk
they get a lot of criticism for making fun of domestic violence
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Tiger's problem.. he kept it white! This is exactly why I could never condone the mixing of races. Black women would never go on tv/media with they business unless they want chile support.
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Tiger's problem.. he kept it white! This is exactly why I could never condone the mixing of races. Black women would never go on tv/media with they business unless they want chile support.
<wispes away tears> :rotfl: :rotfl: listen Jumbie, meh makeup expensive man >:(
I ain't care who go find someway of being offended by your statement, but you damn right!!
Exact shit I said when oman #2 propped up and say dey frien'ing...
Not even ah book deal woulda make ah black woman talk....we have own way :rotfl:
I juss waiting on some woman from Barbados to say she rock back on he club too......
Will and Denzil allyuh hold strong eh....hold strong
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I just want to know how the Enquirer found out. Did the one who squeel like a pig went to them or something?
Or did a photographer caught him doing something not worthy of a married man?
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Tiger's problem.. he kept it white! This is exactly why I could never condone the mixing of races. Black women would never go on tv/media with they business unless they want chile support.
<wispes away tears> :rotfl: :rotfl: listen Jumbie, meh makeup expensive man >:(
I ain't care who go find someway of being offended by your statement, but you damn right!!
Exact shit I said when oman #2 propped up and say dey frien'ing...
Not even ah book deal woulda make ah black woman talk....we have own way :rotfl:
I juss waiting on some woman from Barbados to say she rock back on he club too......
Will and Denzil allyuh hold strong eh....hold strong
**************************
I just want to know how the Enquirer found out. Did the one who squeel like a pig went to them or something?
Or did a photographer caught him doing something not worthy of a married man?
is Denzel you call dey? ... he pretty much admit to horning long time ago on Barbara Walters... de ting is he know how to keep he pimp hand strong!
Tiger just want to throw waist all over the place and cyah manage the consequences
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Tiger's problem.. he kept it white! This is exactly why I could never condone the mixing of races. Black women would never go on tv/media with they business unless they want chile support.
oh ho, that explains everything ... :rotfl:
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Tiger's problem.. he kept it white! This is exactly why I could never condone the mixing of races. Black women would never go on tv/media with they business unless they want chile support.
<wispes away tears> :rotfl: :rotfl: listen Jumbie, meh makeup expensive man >:(
I ain't care who go find someway of being offended by your statement, but you damn right!!
Exact shit I said when oman #2 propped up and say dey frien'ing...
Not even ah book deal woulda make ah black woman talk....we have own way :rotfl:
I juss waiting on some woman from Barbados to say she rock back on he club too......
Will and Denzil allyuh hold strong eh....hold strong
**************************
I just want to know how the Enquirer found out. Did the one who squeel like a pig went to them or something?
Or did a photographer caught him doing something not worthy of a married man?
is Denzel you call dey? ... he pretty much admit to horning long time ago on Barbara Walters... de ting is he know how to keep he pimp hand strong!
Tiger just want to throw waist all over the place and cyah manage the consequences
FF doh play nah man....ya lie :-[
Look lemme re focus on meh chinee midget eh! >:(
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Will and Denzil allyuh hold strong eh....hold strong
I eh know about Denzel... but Will eh have tuh horn, Jada dun say he could bull who he want as long as he bring dem tuh she first fuh approval.
She cyah act tuh save she life... but ah like she more and more with each passing day.
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Gorme, dis Tiger ting turning into a bad episode of Desperate Golfers.
Ah hear Mistress Elin want him to quit or slow down on golf. Will dat help? Look like it will give him even more leisure time to lace everything north of the equator. But it seems she is trying to gather the shreds of her dignity and keep her family together.
B&S,
As for poor Jada.
De red house fire lasted 10 times longer than her TV series. it was really REALLY bad but I watched it anyway because I like her.
She is another one like Rihanna that is in the wrong aisle of the store. Yuh know how sometimes you in de hardwares department and sombody chook a roll of charming inbetween de mix master and de de iron?
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B&S,
As for poor Jada.
De red house fire lasted 10 times longer than her TV series. it was really REALLY bad but I watched it anyway because I like her.
She is another one like Rihanna that is in the wrong aisle of the store. Yuh know how sometimes you in de hardwares department and sombody chook a roll of charming inbetween de mix master and de de iron?
Wait... HawthoRNe gorn thru arready?? They never even gimmih enough time self tuh summon up de courage tuh check it out :-[
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yeah boy it gorn troo quicker dan you could say BAD ACTING.
It was like watching George Bush trying to find his place on the teleprompter but I hung in there for every episode. It was probably trying to compete with the snow in Grey's Anatomy by offering a hospital show with darker actors. A nice looking Indian girl (Suleka Mathew) in it, is probably their strongest actor.
(http://l.yimg.com/l/tv/us/img/site/96/95/0000009695_20060920164003.jpg)
Dunno if it coming through for a 2nd season. If it does, it needs better writing and it needs to stop portraying Jada as Super Nurse. it was exhausting.
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How Suleka hand and dem looking hard so? She looking like she does knead flour fuh ah living.
Aks she tuh turn around fuh ah second nah... tell she something behind she :-X
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heh...
dunt look like it have much dere but I will leave all yuh to fine out. I just googled and picked the first snap I found.
I once started a topic on my forum back in the 1700's on the features and attributes of people from different ethnicities and get so much boof. Ah done.. ;D
dunno her age, never looked. Hands tell the age of a woman...
but you know, in saying so. In Hawthorne, Suleka plays an leg amputee...dunno if it is real or not. It may explain the hands. I have no clue. Could be camera tricks.
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It might'n have much but ah want tuh confirm before ah start paying she too much mind... she dun have tuh come good to replace mih woman Sarita Choudhury.
...whey yuh trying tuh say... Suleka does walk on she knuckles?
:rotfl:
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one leg, not both...
gorme..
hmm..Sarita? A lil hardish not so? Not too familiar with her, maybe I grabbed an unflattering snap?
(http://im.rediff.com/movies/2006/aug/10poster.jpg)
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I don't know why Tiger wife eh tell all ah them to mind dey bizness, this is between she and she husband.
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I don't know why Tiger wife eh tell all ah them to mind dey bizness, this is between she and she husband.
Not very realistic, he is in the public eye.
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one leg, not both...
gorme..
hmm..Sarita? A lil hardish not so? Not too familiar with her, maybe I grabbed an unflattering snap?
(http://im.rediff.com/movies/2006/aug/10poster.jpg)
Yeah not de most flattering pic, plus she ah li'l older now but ah love she bad... she was with Denzel in Mississippi Masala and Kama Sutra... among others. Fuh ah time she was Mira Nair's muse.
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**************************
I just want to know how the Enquirer found out. Did the one who squeel like a pig went to them or something?
Or did a photographer caught him doing something not worthy of a married man?
Based on his MO of constantly being in clubs from Vegas, to Miami to NY it is clear that this was a “well-known” secret on the club scene. The tabloids probably suspected for a while but were just waiting for something concrete to buss the mark.
It seems that his wife knew for a while as well. Is only so much a 30+ year old man could find to do in these kinda clubs where is one setta 18-25 year-old hooch all over the place.
But FF right Tiger move extremely dotish. He must have a love addiction or something because it can't be just about sex if yuh getting tie up in all these lovey dovey text conversations.
Cheating done wrong but he loss even more points for shitting on his wife to make these outside women feel special. Tiger is a big enough draw that he could get groupies without lying to them and making them think it is anything other than a brush he after. Like Tyrese say in 'Baby Boy'....
”Out on the street, I tell the hos the truth.
I lie to you because I care.”
And then communicating by text message, leaving voicemail, not having an unlisted pre-paid backup phone is bush league. All that is cause he grow up playing golf. All the pro basketballers study the player handbook well, from college right through to the pros. He shoulda get some mentorship from Jordan, Magic, Shaq and company.
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And then communicating by text message, leaving voicemail, not having an unlisted pre-paid backup phone is bush league. All that is cause he grow up playing golf. All the pro basketballers study the player handbook well, from college right through to the pros. He shoulda get some mentorship from Jordan, Magic, Shaq and company.
i was gonna say this too...
i cyah understand how he dont have one single pardner that eh tell him he should have a burner phone. duhhh
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Who yuh think teach him to cheat... was Jordan self...!
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so the issue here is not that he slept around but that he didn't cover his tracks?
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so the issue here is not that he slept around but that he didn't cover his tracks?
ha ha ha de man is ah remedial horner
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so the issue here is not that he slept around but that he didn't cover his tracks?
Yuh understand??!!.......
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so the issue here is not that he slept around but that he didn't cover his tracks?
Yuh understand??!!.......
oh gawd ladies, we done beat out de moral side already.. lol
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so the issue here is not that he slept around but that he didn't cover his tracks?
Yuh understand??!!.......
oh gawd ladies, we done beat out de moral side already.. lol
chups.... ;D
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so the issue here is not that he slept around but that he didn't cover his tracks?
EXACTLYso the issue here is not that he slept around but that he didn't cover his tracks?
ha ha ha de man is ah remedial horner
Send him d book fellas Horning Succesfully
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some men have to have day "Deputy" oui :devil:
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some men have to have day "Deputy" oui :devil:
Dais not a deputy hoss, dais de whole barracks...
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some men have to have day "Deputy" oui :devil:
Dais not a deputy hoss, dais de whole barracks...
ENT. D fella horn he deputies wit he wife.
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The topic was relationships. And (I will blame the wine), I said a woman should be able to have different men for different needs without society calling her names.
Well..lawd...good ting ah had meh vex money chook in meh brassiere... :rotfl: :rotfl:
Daz a real good point dey Queen.
Can ONE person fulfill ALL of our desires?
Should that ONE person be the be all and end all?
If yuh have a husband dat great in bed, home every night, you trust completely, but lazy no ass, doh do nutten rong de house, and cheap on top all a dat.....should you stay in the relationship purely because allyuh married?
Or if was reversed. He is de ultimate handy man, very generous with time and money, you trust him completely, but he cyah fork to save he life....yuh go jes grin and bear it because "love conquers all?"
Does the institution of marriage re: monogamy run counter to every basic instinct of a human being?
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The topic was relationships. And (I will blame the wine), I said a woman should be able to have different men for different needs without society calling her names.
Well..lawd...good ting ah had meh vex money chook in meh brassiere... :rotfl: :rotfl:
Daz a real good point dey Queen.
Can ONE person fulfill ALL of our desires?
Should that ONE person be the be all and end all?
If yuh have a husband dat great in bed, home every night, you trust completely, but lazy no ass, doh do nutten rong de house, and cheap on top all a dat.....should you stay in the relationship purely because allyuh married?
Or if was reversed. He is de ultimate handy man, very generous with time and money, you trust him completely, but he cyah fork to save he life....yuh go jes grin and bear it because "love conquers all?"
Does the institution of marriage re: monogamy run counter to every basic instinct of a human being?
(http://members.arstechnica.com/x/freeman/homer-eating-popcorn-small-c7873.jpg)
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The topic was relationships. And (I will blame the wine), I said a woman should be able to have different men for different needs without society calling her names.
Well..lawd...good ting ah had meh vex money chook in meh brassiere... :rotfl: :rotfl:
Daz a real good point dey Queen.
Can ONE person fulfill ALL of our desires?
Should that ONE person be the be all and end all?
If yuh have a husband dat great in bed, home every night, you trust completely, but lazy no ass, doh do nutten rong de house, and cheap on top all a dat.....should you stay in the relationship purely because allyuh married?
Or if was reversed. He is de ultimate handy man, very generous with time and money, you trust him completely, but he cyah fork to save he life....yuh go jes grin and bear it because "love conquers all?"
Does the institution of marriage re: monogamy run counter to every basic instinct of a human being?
:whistling:
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Yes, I think marriage is counter intuitive. It should not be attempted by those unable to discern things with anything but the 5 senses.
Additionally, things that should have absolutely no bearing on a relationship have come down hard on marriage. Taxes, laws, travel etc.
As a female, I can't pick up my happy arse and travel the way I'd like to because there are men out there looking specifically for said happy rear end. So a male is required to protect from other males.
I can be taken to court for infidelity. In some countries I could be put to death.
Were I to set up shop and invite males to come tess meh wine, I would be fined and/or jailed. Unless I invite only politicians and charged $20k per downstroke - in which case I would have my own kiss-meh-neck column with the New York Post - but I digress...
I don't think one person can fulfill all my desires. I dated a little and figured that out early. My thought at that time was to live large and avoid marriage. Then mister arrived and thwarted all that. He handles all my needs and almost all my wants. At first I wanted it all eh, no lie. Gave the poor man beans. But as you mature, you learn to do a few things.
You learn how to discern between your needs and your wants.
You learn that you too are unable to fulfill the other person's entire world.
You decide which of the unfulfilled wants are deal breakers.
in other words, you decide what is important you.
I'm not a greedy girl, so things and possessions don't sway me much.
As for bedroom action. Such a basic need can't be faked or denied for too long. If you catch yourself filing your nails or putting the mirror in such a way as to see the TV instead, you know you need to re-asses. We don't have a TV in our bedroom, so I good. :angel:
If my husband was like either man you described, I would leave him. In fact, I'd never get married to him unless he pretended. That's another problem. Too many of us - both male and female - lie to get into bed/marriage even parenthood. In a case like that, the marriage would fall apart. Sadly, many do.
Lucky for me, mister and I have grown together as time passed. Not all of us are that fortunate.
He can drevay if he wants to. I don't own him. I can drevay too but I can't see anyone coming that good..uhmm...pardon the pun.
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Yes, I think marriage is counter intuitive. It should not be attempted by those unable to discern things with anything but the 5 senses.
Additionally, things that should have absolutely no bearing on a relationship have come down hard on marriage. Taxes, laws, travel etc.
As a female, I can't pick up my happy arse and travel the way I'd like to because there are men out there looking specifically for said happy rear end. So a male is required to protect from other males.
I can be taken to court for infidelity. In some countries I could be put to death.
Were I to set up shop and invite males to come tess meh wine, I would be fined and/or jailed. Unless I invite only politicians and charged $20k per downstroke - in which case I would have my own kiss-meh-neck column with the New York Post - but I digress...
I don't think one person can fulfill all my desires. I dated a little and figured that out early. My thought at that time was to live large and avoid marriage. Then mister arrived and thwarted all that. He handles all my needs and almost all my wants. At first I wanted it all eh, no lie. Gave the poor man beans. But as you mature, you learn to do a few things.
You learn how to discern between your needs and your wants.
You learn that you too are unable to fulfill the other person's entire world.
You decide which of the unfulfilled wants are deal breakers.
in other words, you decide what is important you.
I'm not a greedy girl, so things and possessions don't sway me much.
As for bedroom action. Such a basic need can't be faked or denied for too long. If you catch yourself filing your nails or putting the mirror in such a way as to see the TV instead, you know you need to re-asses. We don't have a TV in our bedroom, so I good. :angel:
If my husband was like either man you described, I would leave him. In fact, I'd never get married to him unless he pretended. That's another problem. Too many of us - both male and female - lie to get into bed/marriage even parenthood. In a case like that, the marriage would fall apart. Sadly, many do.
Lucky for me, mister and I have grown together as time passed. Not all of us are that fortunate.
He can drevay if he wants to. I don't own him. I can drevay too but I can't see anyone coming that good..uhmm...pardon the pun.
Good, mature, insightful, even profound response Queen.
Especially like the statements highlighted in bold
Respeck :beermug:
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Yes, I think marriage is counter intuitive. It should not be attempted by those unable to discern things with anything but the 5 senses.
Additionally, things that should have absolutely no bearing on a relationship have come down hard on marriage. Taxes, laws, travel etc.
As a female, I can't pick up my happy arse and travel the way I'd like to because there are men out there looking specifically for said happy rear end. So a male is required to protect from other males.
I can be taken to court for infidelity. In some countries I could be put to death.
Were I to set up shop and invite males to come tess meh wine, I would be fined and/or jailed. Unless I invite only politicians and charged $20k per downstroke - in which case I would have my own kiss-meh-neck column with the New York Post - but I digress...
I don't think one person can fulfill all my desires. I dated a little and figured that out early. My thought at that time was to live large and avoid marriage. Then mister arrived and thwarted all that. He handles all my needs and almost all my wants. At first I wanted it all eh, no lie. Gave the poor man beans. But as you mature, you learn to do a few things.
You learn how to discern between your needs and your wants.
You learn that you too are unable to fulfill the other person's entire world.
You decide which of the unfulfilled wants are deal breakers.
in other words, you decide what is important you.
I'm not a greedy girl, so things and possessions don't sway me much.
As for bedroom action. Such a basic need can't be faked or denied for too long. If you catch yourself filing your nails or putting the mirror in such a way as to see the TV instead, you know you need to re-asses. We don't have a TV in our bedroom, so I good. :angel:
If my husband was like either man you described, I would leave him. In fact, I'd never get married to him unless he pretended. That's another problem. Too many of us - both male and female - lie to get into bed/marriage even parenthood. In a case like that, the marriage would fall apart. Sadly, many do.
Lucky for me, mister and I have grown together as time passed. Not all of us are that fortunate.
He can drevay if he wants to. I don't own him. I can drevay too but I can't see anyone coming that good..uhmm...pardon the pun.
oh gawd
LYRICS Gyul :applause: :applause:
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Yes, I think marriage is counter intuitive. It should not be attempted by those unable to discern things with anything but the 5 senses.
Additionally, things that should have absolutely no bearing on a relationship have come down hard on marriage. Taxes, laws, travel etc.
As a female, I can't pick up my happy arse and travel the way I'd like to because there are men out there looking specifically for said happy rear end. So a male is required to protect from other males.
I can be taken to court for infidelity. In some countries I could be put to death.
Were I to set up shop and invite males to come tess meh wine, I would be fined and/or jailed. Unless I invite only politicians and charged $20k per downstroke - in which case I would have my own kiss-meh-neck column with the New York Post - but I digress...
I don't think one person can fulfill all my desires. I dated a little and figured that out early. My thought at that time was to live large and avoid marriage. Then mister arrived and thwarted all that. He handles all my needs and almost all my wants. At first I wanted it all eh, no lie. Gave the poor man beans. But as you mature, you learn to do a few things.
You learn how to discern between your needs and your wants.
You learn that you too are unable to fulfill the other person's entire world.
You decide which of the unfulfilled wants are deal breakers.
in other words, you decide what is important you.
I'm not a greedy girl, so things and possessions don't sway me much.
As for bedroom action. Such a basic need can't be faked or denied for too long. If you catch yourself filing your nails or putting the mirror in such a way as to see the TV instead, you know you need to re-asses. We don't have a TV in our bedroom, so I good. :angel:
If my husband was like either man you described, I would leave him. In fact, I'd never get married to him unless he pretended. That's another problem. Too many of us - both male and female - lie to get into bed/marriage even parenthood. In a case like that, the marriage would fall apart. Sadly, many do.
Lucky for me, mister and I have grown together as time passed. Not all of us are that fortunate.
He can drevay if he wants to. I don't own him. I can drevay too but I can't see anyone coming that good..uhmm...pardon the pun.
oh gawd
LYRICS Gyul :applause: :applause:
Like yuh anglin to see if yuh could get a chance to show yuh could come jes as good if not better boy West ;D
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ah go call Brownsugar for ya eh :devil:
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ah go call Brownsugar for ya eh :devil:
Hol on...lemmeh tap she on she shoulder and leh she know yuh lookin fuh she ;D
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ah go call Brownsugar for ya eh :devil:
Hol on...lemmeh tap she on she shoulder and leh she know yuh lookin fuh she ;D
You WISH :rotfl: :rotfl:
aye aye hold orn, she reach ;D
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Yes, I think marriage is counter intuitive. It should not be attempted by those unable to discern things with anything but the 5 senses.
Additionally, things that should have absolutely no bearing on a relationship have come down hard on marriage. Taxes, laws, travel etc.
As a female, I can't pick up my happy arse and travel the way I'd like to because there are men out there looking specifically for said happy rear end. So a male is required to protect from other males.
I can be taken to court for infidelity. In some countries I could be put to death.
Were I to set up shop and invite males to come tess meh wine, I would be fined and/or jailed. Unless I invite only politicians and charged $20k per downstroke - in which case I would have my own kiss-meh-neck column with the New York Post - but I digress...
I don't think one person can fulfill all my desires. I dated a little and figured that out early. My thought at that time was to live large and avoid marriage. Then mister arrived and thwarted all that. He handles all my needs and almost all my wants. At first I wanted it all eh, no lie. Gave the poor man beans. But as you mature, you learn to do a few things.
You learn how to discern between your needs and your wants.
You learn that you too are unable to fulfill the other person's entire world.
You decide which of the unfulfilled wants are deal breakers.
in other words, you decide what is important you.
I'm not a greedy girl, so things and possessions don't sway me much.
As for bedroom action. Such a basic need can't be faked or denied for too long. If you catch yourself filing your nails or putting the mirror in such a way as to see the TV instead, you know you need to re-asses. We don't have a TV in our bedroom, so I good. :angel:
If my husband was like either man you described, I would leave him. In fact, I'd never get married to him unless he pretended. That's another problem. Too many of us - both male and female - lie to get into bed/marriage even parenthood. In a case like that, the marriage would fall apart. Sadly, many do.
Lucky for me, mister and I have grown together as time passed. Not all of us are that fortunate.
He can drevay if he wants to. I don't own him. I can drevay too but I can't see anyone coming that good..uhmm...pardon the pun.
oh gawd
LYRICS Gyul :applause: :applause:
Cosign d gyul preach can I ask dat d offerin b donated 2 d food drive.
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yeah man Palos, is so it go for me. Everybody have to find what works for them.
To me, nothing is sadder that seeing people all up in their 60's and 70's who have more regrets than anything else. They didn't clue in until too late. But if wayward is what you want then go for it but don't complain later.
At 25, things sweet but unless you have the ability to see beyond the length of your body part, you're likely to have too many regrets at 65.
I see people who have no clue who/where their children are or the children dislike them and avoid them.
So here you are, a used up saga girl/boy, your tattoes hanging loosely by your ankle and it takes 20 pills to get going in the morning. Your children don't call, you're alone because you slept your way through the village.
You sit down drooling on yourself by the window at Shady Acres.
Maybe it was worth it, I dunno. But I hope to grow old with my mister and if he goes before I do, I know he will leave a lil space next to him for when I reach. :beermug:
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yeah man Palos, is so it go for me. Everybody have to find what works for them.
To me, nothing is sadder that seeing people all up in their 60's and 70's who have more regrets than anything else. They didn't clue in until too late. But if wayward is what you want then go for it but don't complain later.
At 25, things sweet but unless you have the ability to see beyond the length of your body part, you're likely to have too many regrets at 65.
I see people who have no clue who/where their children are or the children dislike them and avoid them.
So here you are, a used up saga girl/boy, your tattoes hanging loosely by your ankle and it takes 20 pills to get going in the morning. Your children don't call, you're alone because you slept your way through the village.
You sit down drooling on yourself by the window at Shady Acres.
Maybe it was worth it, I dunno. But I hope to grow old with my mister and if he goes before I do, I know he will leave a lil space next to him for when I reach. :beermug:
Yeah Queen. Feel yuh on dat.
Question. How long it take yuh to reach dah state of "enlightenment" (for want of a better word)?
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Yeah Queen. Feel yuh on dat.
Question. How long it take yuh to reach dah state of "enlightenment" (for want of a better word)?
A long time boy -years, plenty mistakes. I went from Miss Independant to 'why de arse dis man want to know where I going?' I wasn't wayward, just own-way. I used to jump into my car and vanish, end up in NY or Montreal dry so. Now somebody put a ring on my finger and asking me question? He mussee mad! :devil:
I'd say the first 6-8 years were a major adjustment. Mister and I are from two completely different worlds too, so that was yet another hurdle.
I also think you need to be careful who your friends are and look closely at their relationships before taking advice from them. When Bob or Mary do not have a good relationship with their significant other, they will have biased advice to give you. And lawd know everybody becomes an expert on YOUR marriage.
And that business about not going to bed angry. NONSENSE. Go to bed angry if dais what de situation call for. Steupse. It doh have no bedtime switch to turn off. Sometimes I so vex I teefing de whole coverlet! And keep to your side eh because if you or Richard decide to look fuh my sapodilla, somebody go dead.
However, do not let it go on too long -days, weeks - nah. it kills something vital after a while...
ah should write a book...
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Yeah Queen. Feel yuh on dat.
Question. How long it take yuh to reach dah state of "enlightenment" (for want of a better word)?
A long time boy -years, plenty mistakes. I went from Miss Independant to 'why de arse dis man want to know where I going?' I wasn't wayward, just own-way. I used to jump into my car and vanish, end up in NY or Montreal dry so. Now somebody put a ring on my finger and asking me question? He mussee mad! :devil:
I'd say the first 6-8 years were a major adjustment. Mister and I are from two completely different worlds too, so that was yet another hurdle.
I also think you need to be careful who your friends are and look closely at their relationships before taking advice from them. When Bob or Mary do not have a good relationship with their significant other, they will have biased advice to give you. And lawd know everybody becomes an expert on YOUR marriage.
And that business about not going to bed angry. NONSENSE. Go to bed angry if dais what de situation call for. Steupse. It doh have no bedtime switch to turn off. Sometimes I so vex I teefing de whole coverlet! And keep to your side eh because if you or Richard decide to look fuh my sapodilla, somebody go dead.
However, do not let it go on too long -days, weeks - nah. it kills something vital after a while...
ah should write a book...
Perhaps you should. Make sure to include de sapodilla part :devil:
Wit respeck to de years and plenty mistakes, ah know it doh have no one size fits all ting where marriage concerned and it fuh sure doh have no manual (aldoh it seem like yuh on yuh way to makin one), but was there ONE major ting dat cause yuh to clue een to de enlightenment yuh have today?
Or is it more of an accumulation of tings over time dat jes mek de realization dawn? Ah guess wha ah really tryin to ask is, if yuh lookin to go into dis ting, what could KINDA prepare yuh fuh de REALITY of de situation?
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Perhaps you should. Make sure to include de sapodilla part :devil:
Wit respeck to de years and plenty mistakes, ah know it doh have no one size fits all ting where marriage concerned and it fuh sure doh have no manual (aldoh it seem like yuh on yuh way to makin one), but was there ONE major ting dat cause yuh to clue een to de enlightenment yuh have today?
Or is it more of an accumulation of tings over time dat jes mek de realization dawn? Ah guess wha ah really tryin to ask is, if yuh lookin to go into dis ting, what could KINDA prepare yuh fuh de REALITY of de situation?
Sorry. Under advice from meh sollysotter I can no longer answer your questions. Yuh have to wait for de book to come out... :rotfl: :rotfl:
No but serious. Putting physical attraction aside for a minute. You need to love the person's mind too and that takes time.
If I had to put my finger on one thing it would most likely be respect. Even in the deepest, darkest hour of real disagreements we kept that part. And lawd knows ah make some dragon size mistakes eh?
Marriage is wuk Palos, plenty plenty wuk and nothing can really prepare you. YOU have to be mature and open minded. So does she. You both have to WANT to make it. Not no half hearted business - "ah go see how it go" kinda ting. Or "is time I fine a lil ting to settle een wid" or "ah getting ole and want to make a chile before meh egg an dem dry up".
All yuh have to talk and talk some more. Find out what your deal breakers are. She smokes, she like to go clubbing without you? She lies about silly little things? She doh bade after? (oh GEEEDE!) :devil:
And yuh know after all dat it still en have no guarantee?
You're right. There is no manual. But once children are part of your planning, try to find out what YOU can put up with and what you can't. Those little people need you both.
One BIG MACCO ting to talk about is MONEY. And here again, there is no one size fits all. Mister and I share an account. All income goes there. We pay bills, we do what we have to. Some folks say NAH, what is yours is yours, but I have learned that if I cannot share and trust, then I am in the wrong house. I have had people walk away with my belongings. But these are things, I can replace them. Once you have lost my trust, you are the one who lsot everything, not me. That took time to learn and I would not recommend it right away.
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Palos, ah fine yuh aksin plenty plenty question boy
Look like yuh done climb de sapodilla tree and focusin on one dat drop in yuh lap
....time to go and press mih suit
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Palos, ah fine yuh aksin plenty plenty question boy
Look like yuh done climb de sapodilla tree and focusin on one dat drop in yuh lap
....time to go and press mih suit
Jes askin on behalf of all de lost one's out dey like Jumbie, Eddoes, Truetrini and dem who BADLY want to know de answers but fraid to ask dem same questions bro... ;D
By de way....is PLENTY climbin I do eh.... ;)
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That's another thing you highlighted right there.
Fellas..ASK QUESTIONS, look around, find out. Stop with the foolish machismo for a little while and pay close attention. It's your life you playing with. Find out about her, check the family. If mammy on Ritalin and daddy in jail for mass murder, check yuhself. Visit the family, check where this girl living. If she keeps her home like a pigsty, guess what? Also, if she keeps her home like a museum, guess what?
Yes she weave whappen whappen and dem dresses she wears have yuh pardnas dribbling, but you have to wake up to this person each and every day. Dem same pardnas would laugh at you and have you on YouTube showing how she slap you up.
Watch yuhself.